It has been some time since I’ve written.  I have been wanting to and the days seem to move along and time passes by.  A friend recently asked me if it is therapeutic for me to write about my experience and share it with the people in my life.  My response was a quick and easy “yes” but since then I’ve given it more thought and have realized that it is actually VERY therapeutic, not only in expressing my thoughts and feelings but in the beautiful outpouring of loving messages and energy that always flow back to me.  So, I thank you for being my sounding board and for responding to me in a loving and supportive way.  I hope you enjoy receiving my emails and get some value out of reading them and knowing what’s going on in my world.  There are so many different kinds of people that have grown to be on my email list through years of promoting, performing and working on various creative music projects.  Some of you are my nearest and dearest and some just signed up on my email to find out about the next gig or CD project that was coming up and some of you wound up in my world through a friend of a friend.  In any case, I find myself sharing my journey with you.  If you want to be taken off the list, please just let me know and I’ll gladly do it.

It has been a challenging few months for me but I can honestly say I am feeling quite a lot better these days.  I continue with chemotherapy treatments for metastatic colon-cancer that has been hanging out in my liver and lungs.  My regimen was switched about a month ago after scans showed that the last group of drugs wasn’t doing me much good.  I hope and pray that what I am currently on is doing the job.  A big part of my “feeling better” really has to do with the way I’ve had to be pro-active with my treatment and discover what I need to support me completely-body, mind and spirit.  As I continue to use conventional chemo drug treatments, I have also sought out other resources and healing methods to support me.  It has been quite exhausting at times getting to support groups, meditation workshops, acupuncture treatments, counseling appointments, yoga classes, creative writing/healing workshops… but I feel this is starting to pay off because I have found some outlets to deal not only with the physical but mental and emotional roller coaster ride that fighting cancer is.  I hoped this would be over, I have other plans for my life, but I am here, living the best I possibly can.

I have been putting performing on hold these last months due to my fatigue and the unpredictability of some of the side effects I deal with.  My creative energies have rather been drawn much more toward writing, both words and music.  This is a realm I love to be in and find creatively fulfilling.   I will be returning to school at USC Thornton School of Music next week to continue my masters program.  I am looking very forward to returning and being in that enriching environment again. 

So the journey continues, the search for answers and healing.  The search for energy, vitality, creativity, love, light, joy, insight.  Where does this lead us, where does it lead me?  The quest for knowledge and wisdom inside of the challenges.  How does one find peace inside of a storm?  How does one find inspiration when dreams are put on hold?  These are the questions my mind is filled with daily.  Thank you for your gifts of love and friendship.  They do help bring me peace.

Love and light,

Hydeus