Hydeus at thePlayboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood BowlIt
has been some time since I’ve written. I
have been wanting to and the days seem to move along and time passes by. A friend recently asked me if it is
therapeutic for me to write about my experience and share it with the people in
my life. My response was a quick and
easy “yes” but since then I’ve given it more thought and have realized that it
is actually VERY therapeutic, not only in expressing my thoughts and feelings
but in the beautiful outpouring of loving messages and energy that always flow
back to me. So, I thank you for being my
sounding board and for responding to me in a loving and supportive way. I hope you enjoy receiving my emails and get
some value out of reading them and knowing what’s going on in my world. There are so many different kinds of people
that have grown to be on my email list through years of promoting, performing
and working on various creative music projects.
Some of you are my nearest and dearest and some just signed up on my
email to find out about the next gig or CD project that was coming up and some
of you wound up in my world through a friend of a friend. In any case, I find myself sharing my journey
with you. If you want to be taken off
the list, please just let me know and I’ll gladly do it.
It
has been a challenging few months for me but I can honestly say I am feeling
quite a lot better these days. I
continue with chemotherapy treatments for metastatic colon-cancer that has been
hanging out in my liver and lungs. My
regimen was switched about a month ago after scans showed that the last group
of drugs wasn’t doing me much good. I
hope and pray that what I am currently on is doing the job. A big part of my “feeling better” really has
to do with the way I’ve had to be pro-active with my treatment and discover
what I need to support me completely-body, mind and spirit. As I continue to use conventional chemo drug
treatments, I have also sought out other resources and healing methods to
support me. It has been quite exhausting
at times getting to support groups, meditation workshops, acupuncture
treatments, counseling appointments, yoga classes, creative writing/healing
workshops… but I feel this is starting to pay off because I have found some
outlets to deal not only with the physical but mental and emotional roller
coaster ride that fighting cancer is. I
hoped this would be over, I have other plans for my life, but I am here, living
the best I possibly can.
I
have been putting performing on hold these last months due to my fatigue and
the unpredictability of some of the side effects I deal with. My creative energies have rather been drawn
much more toward writing, both words and music.
This is a realm I love to be in and find creatively fulfilling. I will be returning to school at USC
Thornton School of Music next week to continue my masters program. I am looking very forward to returning and
being in that enriching environment again.
So
the journey continues, the search for answers and healing. The search for energy, vitality, creativity,
love, light, joy, insight. Where does
this lead us, where does it lead me? The
quest for knowledge and wisdom inside of the challenges. How does one find peace inside of a
storm? How does one find inspiration
when dreams are put on hold? These are
the questions my mind is filled with daily.
Thank you for your gifts of love and friendship. They do help bring me peace.
Love
and light,
Hydeus
